Wandering resolute
in solitude, I sought
serenity, an elusive,
almost palpable shadow
fluttering just out of reach.
Close enough
to gently dampen
thirsty lips, a sponge
soaked in vinegar.

So damn me for hunger.
So damn me for hoping for more.

Perpetual mourning dove
never widowed, swallowing
all I wanted,
all that could have been.
Choked by denial,
arms akimbo, daring
to still move forward.
No safety net needed
if only I could take
just one step.

So damn my selfishness.
So damn me for wanting to believe.

Horizon firmly burned
into my retina,
once internal whispers of ‘jump’
turn to angry shouts.
Feeling a fool for believing
but believing still,
I step forward
onto thin air.

So damn my luck if I don’t fall.